This is really good, it uses figurative language, and makes you think about the deeper meaning...BUT---I is capitalized :P work on that! The end sounds a little forced, but all in all I like it---I haven't read your other poems, but try to get out of rhyming couplets--try something mixed up....like something out of Edwin Arlington Robinson. Good job!

Rock on!

Toni

I enjoyed this very much, thank you for a great read. 5/5