I'll copy and paste the comment I left on Zee's

Ooooo! Woopah! That is the sound of someone getting poetically rinsed! This was awesome, really powerful and full of anger and spite. I loved it! The first stanza is my favourite, plunges right into the heart of the poem and gets straight to the point. 5/5

Em xXx

Wow, what a write from the both of you. I loved it. The flow was good, but could use a little work here and there. Overall this was a good collab. Great Job you two!!! Your choice of words was excellent, and had great meaning.

Now it's time to have some constructive critisism, Instead of constant praising.

The structure needs a lot of work, it's as though I am reading a book, the whole poem is in paragrapghs, where I feel it would be a lot better in stanzas.

For example lets take the first "paragrapgh"

"Come a little closer this way darling; can you see the hidden spite in my eyes?
Do you remember when I said we wouldn't always be playing on your damn terms,
Well the day's finally arrived; thoughtless lies have finally become a little tired,
How'd you ever fool me when everything you ever uttered was borderline cliche?"

And make it into "Stanzas"

Come a little closer this way darling;
Can you see the hidden spite in my eyes?
Do you remember when I said,
"We wouldn't always be playing on your damn terms"

Well the day's finally arrived;
thoughtless lies have finally become a little tired,
How'd you ever fool me
When everything you ever uttered was borderline cliche?

Also, since this is so so so long, I would make it into a series instead of one poem, that way it breaks it up a little bit, and doesn't get the read uninterested in the piece, I'm not saying this poem isn't interesting, I'm just merely saying, it can be so long that someone may not feel like reading on. Just a suggestion, which I felt would help a little.

Overall a wonderful write from both of you. You both have a way with words and I love the way this turned out. Keep up the fantastic work!!!

Peace, Joe