Dark Remidies

You're the reason I hate the morning
The numbers on the calender aren't new days
They are attempted suicide counts
They're each 24 hours stuck in this maze

You're the powder that numbs my mouth
Knowing it is pure
You're the smoke of no worries
Knowing its just a temporary cure

You're at the bottom of every bottle
Drinking till I see the promise land
You're the paradise pills wrapped in plastic
Shoving them down my throat
Almost swallowing my hand

You're the heaven in the syringe
As I stick this needle into me
You're my new lover every night
Pretending love is real
Kissing intimately

You're the reason I grasp that blade
And try to make my wrist cry
They call out your name
As veins run dry

You're the reason I hold myself hostage at gunpoint
Pulling repeatedly as I hear the empty clip
Hoping to taste the hot metal with my brain
Wishing for this flesh to rip

You're the reason for these dark remedies
You're the reason pain lets me know I'm alive
You're the reason I'm killing myself trying to live
You're the reason every bit of me wants to die