Laughter Spent.

by Crystal Gaze   Feb 28, 2008


Laughter Spent.
By: Paula.C.

Lighting Flashes Blinding Pain
Tear's Fall With The Rain
Screams Build, and Tear Within
No More Laughter, Pain Wins
My heart fell, bloody on the floor
In Unison With Thunders Loud Menacing Roar
I Shake Uncontrollably
As The Wind Howls In
My Broken Mind
Sinking Slowly In This Wretched Storm,
When It's over
There'll be nothing left of me to
FIND.

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It started as a quote.. but then I added to it and it was to long.. I hope you enjoy. Please leave comments and vote.

Thanks,
--Elly.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Frozen hearT

    Thats a good one i like that.....

  • 16 years ago

    by Miranda

    Great piece.A lot of emotions in a few well written words.The imagery was amazing.It was heart-breakingly sad but it was still lovely.I really loved it, a 5/5 for sure.
    Keep writing,
    Rado

  • 16 years ago

    by Anthony Duvalle

    This is really really good because you express feelings with very short phrases

    well done

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Well this poem definitely tugged at my heartstrings. It was really sad, and I truly felt sorry for the narrator. It painted a picture as if they had lost everything they had; left with nothing.

    "In Unison With Thunders Loud Menacing Roar"
    ^^ There should be an apostrophe at 'thunders', since it's the roar belonging to the thunder.

    "Dieing Slowly In This Wretched Storm,"
    ^^ It should be 'Dying', not 'Dieing'.

    I also think it was unnecessary to capitalise the majority of your words, but that just might be me. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by sweet escape

    I like it and it shows a lot of emotion.
    it kept my attention very well.

    My heart fell, bloody on the floor
    In Unison With Thunders Loud Menacing Roar

    ^^ my fav line ^^