by Mike Wilburn Feb 28, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
Broken over time |
Oh, one little comment also, just a random thing that bugged me. You wrote, "Life was easy, living is hard" and you changed tenses there. You were in the present tense for that whole thing and then you said "was." Unless you have a really good reason for saying was, I'd recommend changing it to "is," because saying "was" sounds like you are dead, when obviously you are not. Just a random thought. |
Wow, another great write. I'm glad I found your poetry. Though your lines were short, your word choice was incredible, so it worked. I love the different two line stanzas where it defines love and hate. I have had some pretty crappy luck with relationships, so this poem really works for for me. |