Suicide Note(to anyone who cares...)

by MyMuse   Feb 28, 2008


Dear to Anyone Who Cares,
I am sorry for everything I have done in my past. I know you wanted someone perfect but I'm the definition of imperfection... my heart is like shattered glass, broken and useless...! No one cares, people say those words or another word for it lies..."Oh I love you, I do. I always will." then why do you leave me stranded in the dark, crying my eyes out, reaching a hand out to you but you just keep walking and laughing with your new friends. I have no true friends, I know I don't. I am the girl standing in the crowd waving with a smile hiding her pain away. But you just walk right past her like if she was just a gust of wind or just another voice in the crowd. I always wanted you to notice me but you know when I am left alone, I cry in downcast wondering if this is the end. The scream, I call for you to hear me but you never come to my rescue. When I think I am finally getting accepted of who I am, I say the wrong thing like I always do. I can't smile anymore, it is like I was never taught to smile just cry cry the day away. Pray to god that maybe I can get out of the darkness because I always hear my fears whisper again and again in my ear, a cold hand on my shoulder, telling me I should just die and never live again. Like I said I always wanted to be accepted by you but it'll never truly happen. You always take my smile away and in return you take my arms and wrap it around my face for the tears can soak up my shirt. Why couldn't you just accept me? I always wanted to get that feeling of someone to love you not try to take your wounded heart and hurt it even more. I can never win the fight with myself and my fears. I want to get out of this world but the only way is all the things I am afraid of. I am afraid of living so that's why I want to die and another reason why is because no one truly loves me. They have better friends to take care of I just want to say to the people I love and they might not love me but I love them with all my wounded heart and fears with my tears.

Skye you won't miss me, I know you won't, you have Kalian, Paige, Wofie, Star, many other people, I am just in your way. I am broken you don't need a shattered-wounded-heart to put pressure on you. I love you I always will. I had a lot of good times with you and I will always treasure them, You will have a better life without me maybe we shouldn't met because all I am a burden on you and lots of pain and prob a lot of regrets also. All I need is to make you suffer anymore than I do. You were my only friend mostly but you have better friends than me so don't you worry about me never going to forget you. Just remember if you ever need someone, I am here but you know you have all your friends...

Kyle, thank you for everything you have said to me. I cant smile I am broken. I loved you like a whole lot but I cant live anymore thank you for everything.i just wish I could have been a better person to you

Danielle, I loved you like an older sister, you were like my therapist to me you did make me smile. I am sorry I didn't return your messages but you know you were awesome to me. I'm sorry I didn't write back to you on those times. Never going to forget you

And to everyone else..I am sorry for all my fu**ed up poetry, I know they sucked and everything. But tthank you to everyone that did comment and to anyone that reads this I am sorry for everything maybe I was the girl that caused you a whole lot of pain but have a good life I will always be here maybe you could save me...

Goodbye...
CourtneyxHolland
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  • 16 years ago

    by kylexthexmagnificent

    Awwww.....sweetie......this made me cry.....i hope you didnt do anything stupid.....i care about you and i hope you know that....i really hope you'll be okay...please.....i'll pray for you tonight......i promise i wll