Cry my Heart

I didn't really relate much to this poem but I still felt a conection. The poem was so well writen and everything fit together like a beautiful puzzle peice. I loved it! you are very tallented.

This poem is amazing and so touching :]
nice job...

"Cry my heart , for it is over
for he is more friend , no more a lover
cry my heart , no else to do
i have you only , i only have you"

^^ First line -- no space after "heart". Second line -- no space after "friend". Third line -- no space after "heart". Fourth line -- no space after "only".

"cry , and make my tears flow,
from above and burn till below
till my cheeks are red ,my eyes are blue
i have you only i only have you"

^^ First line -- no space after "cry". Third -- "till" should be "until". No space after "red", add a space after the comma.

"cry , for you wont see the day
again the darkness have found the way
take me away , don't leave me too
i have you only, i only have you"

^^ First line -- no space after "cry". Third line -- no space after "away".

"cry , and weep , no one will hear
the crowded shadow , the wait and fear
the hurt to monster he turn you into
i have you only i only have you"

^^ First line -- no space after "cry" or "weep". Second -- no space after "shadow".

"at end you find yourself alone
weaker then feather , you feel your bones
don't worry the worse is not yet come
the monster unleash is yet to begun"

^^ Second line -- "weaker THAN A feather". No space after "feather".

Overall; this piece needs some work. The capitalization is off, as is the punctuation.

3/5

-Briana

To love is nothing,
To be loved is something,
To love and be loved is everything
no comment for the poem

Once again, great poem & it would make a great song 5/5