Mistake

With your hands in my hair and my heart on my sleeve
I'm not sure I can take this anymore.
I hate lying to the space between us,
because I never really deserved you
and we're not the same.
No, we're not the same.
Confusion and dishonesty is a poison
I always try to swallow every time our lips collide.
We're a car crash on the inside and
these sirens might not make it in time.
They drown out the words that are
falling carelessly from our swollen lips,
turning our confessions and intentions
into a mistaken emergency.
Hold me for eternity and convince me
that my doubts are only wasted apprehensions,
that I can love again without
second guesses or second chances.
Trial and error has always been my method by default,
I never wanted to find out that I'm not worth it.
But my mistakes are so easy to relive
over and over again.
It turns out habits are harder to break
than the heart I wish would just stop beating.
I hate the fact that you're the only reason I'm alive.
But the cold concrete has always been
my best friend and favorite lover;
it's always there for me in the end.