Where does darkness come from?
What emits light?
How do you live in a life
That is not your own?
Breathless I stare.
Bright lights
Dark shadows.
Something from the pits of nothingness.
Unsure where to go
Unsure how to get rid of this nostalgic feeling
Unsure why it lurks anyways...
Back when I was young
Death not unknown
Why do I have to watch death happen?
Other secrets linger as well...
Another memory that shouldn't be uncovered,
Has been.
Dreams and memories can be one, right?
Or am I wrong?
I think they are one...
Dreams... or should I say
Nightmares...
They are the same to me.
One dream so old...
The oldest I can remember.
It scares me to this day.
So...
Why am I speaking of it anyways?
I'm sure it would frighten you as much as it frightens me everyday.
But... "he" scares me as well.
Though he doesn't scare others.
Maybe it's the way he talks about me,
Or the way talks to me or acts around me.
What he says to his friends...
It disgusts me so...
Why do I have to know him?
Why can't it all be a dream, like I imagine it is?!
I want the pain to go away!!!
But it wont... not for a moment.
I want to be free from this insomnia.
This insomniac feeling... sleepless...
That's what I try to be, or have tried for years to be.
Though it never works, I keep trying.
Sometimes scaring myself to the extent that I almost cry.
I cry not only for what was done,
I also cry for what I let happen, when I could have stopped it.
I didn' though... Now did I?
Insomnia...
Is it good? Or Bad?
What do you think...
It doesn' really matter though?
Now does it...
Crying in pain,
Sleepless nights,
Weakness...
What do they all have in common?
What is depression?
Is it real?
Is it just an excuse?
Is it man't way of letting go of everything that matters?
I don't know for sure...
