The rooftop

by Rach Ray   Mar 3, 2008


We were sitting on your rooftop
Staring at the skies
The sun was dipping lower
I looked into your eyes
You saw what I was feeling
I know you felt it too
We wanted time to just stand still
Then forever there'd be me and you
Why can't we freeze this moment?
Return to it in time
Stay together through the years
Proclaim I'm yours and you are mine
So let us freeze this moment
Store it safely away
Even if we leave this place
We'll return to it someday

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I like the way you started this off. The flow got off track in the middle though. A cute little piece that many can relate to. A beautiful sentiment of love and never wanting the moment to end.

  • 16 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    A really, really good piece, I thought. It had a lot of emotion, which was just seeping through the lines. I like what was being said, as well as the words and rhymes you were using to say it. Great job.

    Brad

    P.S. I wonder if you actually thought my poem 'My Sleeping Beauty', was boring, or if you just said that because I said something simular about one of your pieces. Whichever the case, I re-read 'My Sleeping beauty' and I can certainly see what you mean, its not the most dynamic and exciting of pieces, lol.

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