Beauty In The Breakdown

by Tammie   Mar 5, 2008


Back to square one in this circle of procedures
Where shapes never were my best subject,
You always did choose the wrong sort of right,
Now I'm curious; was it just to make you look perfect?

With your tongue in my cheek and my head in your hands,
I wonder who the dominant one is in this situation,
A rather ironic charm don't you think, sweetie?
I know you just can't get enough of this friction.

While you wish I was her, I'm wishing you were him,
But sometimes we have to settle for second best,
Now there there, don't let that ego float to high,
'Cause I'll be sure to put a hole in it, just like the rest.

So we'll fake forced smiles, just to lie with gritted teeth,
But we both know deep down we love it all the while,
Never to admit that our second best is a close behind,
With senses not only by attraction, but very tactile

Leaving satisfied, hoping for yet another round,
Quiet achievers always seem to get ahead,
With you on my mind and my mind on yours,
I silently hope your signals aren't being misread.

We do this to ourselves, knowing it's just a game,
To fill the void; but what's missing is behind the kisses,
You're a beauty in the breakdown, but its okay,
We'll hold each other just to give what each of us misses.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie

    First off: I absolutely loved the meaning behind the poem. It's something that you don't come across too often on here.

    "With your tongue in my cheek and my head in your hands,"
    - This is definately one of my favorite lines because it's like... reversed. It's not how you'd normally hear it in the world and I love that.
    My other favorite line is:
    "While you wish I was her, I'm wishing you were him,"
    - Amazing. It's a kind of heartbreaking yet bitter piece of poetry to me. I love it. It's probably the best out of the three that I've read from you.
    The flow was smooth as always, your vocabulary was wisely chosen, and your emotions were pretty darn strong. Phenominal job, m'dear. :P Overall: 5.5

    - Steph. xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    I didn't really like the piece to be honest, but I did like what it was about. I think the reason I didn't like it as a poem was because the lines were too long for the rhymes to be on every other line, for long lines I think it need to be a 'AABB' structure, not 'ABCB'.

    Brad

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    So that line just blew me away! It was the perfect line to end your poem! The imager you expressed throughout this piece was just amazing and I could imagine it all clearly in my mind. The third stanza has to be my fave because everything you said just flowed so flawlessly and felt so natural. Great choice of words and overall a wonderful piece. Well done *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by Skye

    I really really like this poem good job

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