Haha, this made me smile. >.> I probably wasn't suppose to, because it's so dark and explicit, but I did anyway.

I thought you definitely got your point across and spilled your emotions into this. The flow was a little rocky, but that's okay, because you don't really notice it all that much.

Fu.ck this core of a life, bleed me with this knife,

^^ I can relate to that line so much. >.<

Watch the dripping red, I smile without dread,

^^ What I suggest here is that you change "red" to a more descriptive word. Just don't use crimson, because so many people use that now. I like the last part of the sentence though.

Laying in my blood puddle, only the devil is to cuddle,

^^ Haha, cuddling with the Devil. Brilliant. Wow, that throws some pretty weird mental picutres into my head.

I loved this. I wanted it to be longer though.

:[.

Anyways, great job! :]

Keep writing!
Cayce