Wow this was f_cking amazing! Speachless! Simply great?!?

Oh. oh, that was moving. TT_TT don't do that! don't hurt yourselllffff~~!!!

This was a lovely poem, and your flow and words were great. I can feel the narrator's hopelessness. great poem. (D

Waw, its wel done writen and nicely flow and rhyme ,and i prefer to write it in lines like that:;One final downhearted night
I close my eyes really tight,
I sit on the edge of my bed
knowing tomorrow Ill be dead,
and so on.... it will be better in reading
but in written its perfect and full of sad feeling and it makes me cry, i enjoy alot and i love it 5/5

The rhyme sometimes seemed a little forced but otherwise this poem was amazing. Filled with raw emotion. Just...don't hurt yourself too bad ok? I had a friend who went through exactly the same thing but she got through it by realising how many people would miss him if he was gone. You might think that no-one would but you'd be surprised. I know my words probably seem empty because I'm just some girl on some site who lives the other side of the world. But I care enough to say, find something or someone worth living for and you'll soon realise that hurting yourself isn't the way to solve your problems.

Chin up =)

Em xXx

Okay, this is your poem now

"One final downhearted night,
I close my eyes really tight,
I sit on the edge of my bed, knowing tomorrow Ill be dead,
The tears stroke my cheek,
Ive been called such a freak,
The abuse and neglect reminds me,
That there wont be another plea,
I have no one to aid my troubles,
Each day my crisis only doubles,
My trembling palm holds the blade,
Ive been forgotten since first grade,
I slowly place the blade into my wrist,
With a sense of an aurora of mist,
My tears plunge onto the floor,
I tear and slash and I see the skin I tore,
I cup my hand for the blood to puddle,
Now theres no room for a soft cuddle,
I begin to feel faint and pale,
My life is nothing but a short tale,
I have ended a journey of despair,
For I hope no one has to share."

And I have thought of some corrections, or fixings, and this is it:

"One final down-hearted night,
I close my eyes extremely tight,
I sit on the edge of my bed,
knowing tomorrow I will be dead,
The tears stroke my cheek,
I've been called such a freak,
The abuse and neglect reminds me,
That there won't be another plea,
I have no one to aid my troubles,
Each day my crisis only doubles,
My trembling palm holds the blade,
I've been forgotten since first grade,
I slowly place the blade into my wrist,
With a sense of an aurora of mist,
My tears plunge onto the floor,
I tear and slash and I see the skin I tore,
I cup my hand for the blood to puddle,
Now theres no room for a soft cuddle,
I begin to feel faint and pale,
My life is nothing but a short tale,
I have ended a journey of despair,
For I hope no one has to share."

I just changed a word and added some punctuation. The poem looks much better like that, at least in my eyes.
They rhymes seem a little forced and typical, but even I am guilty of doing that.
Let's hope this isn't a true story. It is sad.
5/5

Nice job
5/5

Nice poem~ but you dont' have to make it rhyme, try writing poems without rhymes, maybe it might sound better~ keep it up! (and don't do that)

Wow, this poem contains such emotion its amazing =] I rated it a 5 the vocab that you used really makes an effect on the reader xxxxx Mwah xxxx

Wow!!! great emotion! but someone said above ^^ poems dont have to rhyme (dont get me wrong - this is stll ace) just try not to force rhyme, well done 5/5 (id vote higher if i could!)

suicidal love xx

This was a good poem.
I thought the word aura would've been better than aurora.
It just seemed to make that line to large.

Very sad poem, but it is amazing. This poem was very well written. The flow was great along with every other element. I can't find a thing to change. Great Job. 5/5

I really don't do much of these cutting poems but here it goes. The description was good and the vocabulary was well played out the structure was fine and well the message, Well I would read something more suitable to my taste I gave it a 4 good job Plot121