Woman of Confusion

The past has stolen my ability to believe
So many have deceived me
It's so easy to assume
That you're just another name on the list of history
But the error in your story is so hard to find
Or is it that I'm just blinded
By the desire to find love
Maybe these lies are mine
Imagination running wild
My own paranoia reiterating your words
Creating this feeling of disgust
And stealing all trust I could have had
Anger quickly builds up
Sadness takes over
Being together provides nothing but pain
I have nothing to gain with you
But instead everything to lose
I'm sick of these tears
Crying solves nothing
I wonder if you understand
Do you even try
Or do you just turn around
When I start to cry
Have you ever seen these tears
Or ever felt these fears
Nightmares of deception
Awake me at night
I hate fighting for your attention
I need affection but at what cost
Must I give up self respect
Even my beliefs
I cry and all you can say is why
I answer, I love you
But my heart says you're untrue
I'm confused, I'm in pain
Do you see
Do you care
I need you, I don't want you
Again and again I let myself down
Running to your arms
Once again succumbing
To the tales you tell
I don't believe you
But I can't let go
Because what if what you say
Is the truth I so badly need
I'll withstand the pain
I'll hold back these tears that I cry
Because I can't find the strength
To say good bye