Tasting Rainy Whispers

by NyellMoonlight   Mar 5, 2008


I want you to tap-dance across my wounds
while the rain slowly pours down the window pane,
spilling lonesome illusions over carved streets.
Trust heals crimson devastation, lizard's tongue unravels-
there's some stellar sound, a fairytale story outside.

Come closer, I want to gaze within your mind.

I'm simply senseless due to extreme senselessness
to the point where senselessness doesn't make
any sense anymore; senseless numbers swallow sense.

Push me towards the ground and hold me near-
even the frigidity rhymes over outlined digits;
Fallacies follow my zealot sanctuary
and the sky... oh, the sky is scarlet again.

I lovethewayyouplay- senselessness speaks silently.

Plunge the fingers in my somberness
cause I love to taste tint of darkness
sketched across your cyan aura.

Under the moon, rain whispers secrets.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by jess

    Never before have i read such imaginative and descriptive, fitting uses of colour in poetry. agree that it flows extremely well, enough tension and release throughout, and i absolutely love that the end is slightly ambiguous about the truth of this love, whether the tension resloves or not. very effective.

  • 16 years ago

    by silhouette fairy

    Stanza #3 is almost a tounge-twister, but is very enjoyable and i don't think i understand the entire story but i really do like this poem.
    good job.

  • 16 years ago

    by I love you always and today

    I like this poem =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    First of all, I must say that I admire freedom of your words and originality which every stanza posses. On the end of this piece I was absolutely stunned, you amazed me with dark captivating atmosphere which you created.

    -I want you to tap-dance across my wounds
    while the rain slowly pours down the window pane,
    spilling lonesome illusions over carved streets.
    Trust heals crimson devastation, lizard's tongue unravels-
    there's some stellar sound, a fairytale story outside.-

    ^Wow, that is truly fascinating opening stanza, every line is so compact and it is cleverly written. I honestly have so vivid picture in my mind and your words made it. Tone of this stanza impressed me the most, it is somehow calm and it absorbed my attention.

    -Come closer, I want to gaze within your mind.-

    ^Very, very effective line, it contains so much depth in it and again it is very simply said. Wow, wow, structure of this line really gave a power to amazingly picked words that you used.

    -I'm simply senseless due to extreme senselessness
    to the point where senselessness doesn't make
    any sense anymore; senseless numbers swallow sense.-

    ^My favorite stanza, chaos inside of it is pure brilliance and the way you wrote it is just simply mind-blowing.

    -Push me towards the ground and hold me near-
    even the frigidity rhymes over outlined digits;
    Fallacies follow my zealot sanctuary
    and the sky... oh, the sky is scarlet again-

    ^Very refreshing and interesting imagery, the (...) in last line slowed down the rhythm excellently, and that pause was very intense. I like whole part, it is incredible.

    -I lovethewayyouplay- senselessness speaks silently.-

    ^I personally don't see the point of -lovethewayyouplay- written as a one word, and that didn't left to big impression on me, it is interesting but this isn't my favorite line cause that -lovethewayyouplay- somehow threw me off.

    -Plunge the fingers in my somberness
    cause I love to taste tint of darkness
    sketched across your cyan aura.-

    ^ You described here some elegant, darkened tone. I don't know what to say, this stanza posses equal breath-taking beauty like the rest of the poem.

    -Under the moon, rain whispers secrets. -

    ^ To be honest I expected more powerful ending cause this line was too calm for my taste . Interesting but not one of your best endings cause you usually leave me speechless with your endings.

    Overall I enjoyed so much and I am truly tankful to you for sharing this piece, it is so beautiful and it really stunned me. Keep up with your amazing, amazing ideas.

  • 16 years ago

    by firexdancer

    Okay, now that was gorgeous.
    Absolutely beautiful.
    Though it didn't make much sense to me, it really didn't need to, it made this picture in my mind, and you know what? This reminded me exactly of rain. It was really weird how much it reminded me of rain actually. It flowed perfectly, and I just wanted to keep reading it, the poem is so captivating.

    Push me towards the ground and hold me near-
    even the frigidity rhymes over outlined digits;
    Fallacies follow my zealot sanctuary
    and the sky... oh, the sky is scarlet again.

    ^I loved this paragraph btw. The words just were so...perfect together! You are an amazing poet, keep writing!
    5/5 [and I'm adding this to my favorites]
    ~gabriella