The Pills

They rattle and shake
They linger in my hand
I long to take
Just throw back my head
Toss them into my mouth
And go back to sleep

They stare me down
And I just want to leap
The blackness calls to me
And I wish
I wish it was over
That the pain didn't kiss

I take the bottle and hold it against my head
My own personal gun
To use in emergencies only
There's no turning back
Once I toss back my head

Do I dare do it?
I'm not really sure
I put the lid on the bottle
And put them back in the drawer

I'm proud of strength
I'm not ready for the end
Not yet
But I know I'll be back
Testing my strength
Only to find
That I can't walk away

I'll lay down and take them
Till the bottle is done
I'll close my eyes and whisper
And it will be done