To feel nothing is even worse than pain.
to not even be able to express what
i am feeling is far more torture than
to endure even the most painful infliction
one could imagine.
to feel indifferent while becoming a
totally different person.
cold, calculating, introverted
not wanting to care for other people,
not because of fear of rejection,but of
selfish conceit and arrogance
i do not want friends. they interfere, and then
don't even have the decency to pick up the mess
they left behind. i do not want family. they will only
get in the way, and will be dissapointed.
i do not want me, for i have forsaken myself,
no longer inviolated, but violated physically, mentally, and spiritually. no longer pure, i wish to purge myself of everything once enjoyable,
and replace with nothing.
like a rock, i lack life, blood, and feeling, only a dead weight on the rest of the world.
