I wonder..

Today i was thinking of
what it would be like if
i was never born.

i wonder would my family
would be the same.? or would
they be more ashamed.?! or maybe caring.?

all i ever wanted is for my mother
to be strong or a perfect example
and not some big embarrassment.

then i was thinking, what would
my family be like if i was dead.?

would they cry or just forget?
they only use me, they don't
let me be me.!

they call me dumb and dingy.!
sometimes no! all the time stupid...
they don't trust me they keep thinking i am having sex.!

I wonder if i was to commit suicide, who would care..?
ha! or would they just show un-wanted attention. i don't know.. maybe i should just find out. =]