by Chris Mar 7, 2008
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
I was living in a house |
The regrain in this is really good-and in the 'chorus' type sections that are 5 lines instead of four-you did really well. But parts of the rest of it are a little iffy...it gets a little confused, for me anyway. Watch out for grammatical mistakes! Anyway, the concept for this poem is really good-just develop it more. |