Wow this is a really powerful poem.. it really grabs you as a reader and makes you want to read more.. i like the way it doesnt rhyme too.. a lot of people think good poems need to rhyme but you proved them wrong right here... very successful poem and very nicely written.. its also very deep and emotional but you already know that. nice job! and thanks for the comment =)

Very sad. Although I don't think that you should give in to the depression. Although it may be easier to do so, fighting back is better fo you.
5/5

I'm kind of confusded on what it's about. I get that she's hiding her pain in the beginning, but at the end, did she commit suicide? Or, maybe her depression killed her? I think she died because of this line "the eternal sleep". Maybe you could make that part a little more clear.

I thought the flow was okay, but it could have been better. Try to keep the lines around the same syllables, and I think it would flow a lot better.

What I did like about this poem, was that your didn't try to rhyme it. I hate it when people force rhymes. I have nothing against rhymes though. I actually love them, but not when it takes away from what you're trying to say.

You could definitely feel the sadness radiating through the words, but I think they could have been a bit better. Metaphores or similies, maybe?

I hope this comment helps! :]

Keep writing!
Cayce

The structure was a little inconsistent but I think it worked well for the poem because it didn't disrupt the flow. I don't think this is your best but I still really liked it. It's simple yet sinister with some good personification. My favourite stanza was:

"I accept it with open arms.
I don't want you to cry,
or weep over me.
Be happy and release me."

It changes the atmosphere of the poem from being restraining to free.

Em xXx

You are a wonderful writer point blank..so far i have related to evry one of ur peices..i just wish that your poems were a little longer

This is a really strong piece of poetry i loved the emotions in it

Alot said in this poem, you did a really good job

Be happy and release me
^strong emotion in this line^

great job. this is by far my fav.

Depression is a horrible thing to go through but you shouldn't contemplate killing yourself. The flow of the poem was good

The pain hidden away,
Never to be seen by others.
The life in my eyes,
wavers as it dies.

this verse admits that the person in the poem has almost given up on trying to carry on in this life. Its a good poem keep it up

take care
4/5

Wonderful.
very expressive.
my favorite lines were"This depression pulls me deeper,
and holds me in it's grasp."
keep it up!

Excellent

I liked the way you manage to share the your feelings, this one is a poem for letting go. It was great write. Very emotional indeed.

Keep it up
Veamm

Powerful and full of true and raw emotion. Loved it.

Awe . This is so heart-felt and easy to relate to . It poors alot of emotion .. Really well done . Keep writting ! 5/5

Some of you poems i cant get to ok
doing good