Like a Withered Rose

Like a withered rose, I lay dying
In the cold of night
Crying quietly to myself
Cause no one cares at all.

*This is such a sad start but it makes me want to know why you're so sad. good*

The blood drips and falls to the ground
And like a sleeping baby it makes no sound.
The pain feels good, like an escape,
I feel as if i'm finally free from the pain.

*Wow...i love how you use so much imagery here. It takes your poem to a whole new level and I love it. Very vivid*

I have become crazy, slipping into space
Everything looks blurry, black, then not there.
When I regain senses and can see again,
I find myself in an ally, sitting alone.

*I like how the mood changes here. Very detailed*

The scars on my wrist are gone,
And I feel no more pain.
I am ok, safe, and happy.
It was all a dream, a nightmare, a cage.

*Wow...another change in mood. This is confusing and it makes me wonder what's happening to you*

I was trapped with no key to release me,
But the light brought a promise, a hope, a way.
I could finally live without fear,
Fear of a malignant night mare,
For it was all just a horrible dream!

*A dream..wow that's clever. I love your style. Very good work. Keep it up. Shanik*

Great way to build it up, then say it was a dream! Nice
-oNice