by StandStill
This was actually really great. it confronts many of the issues of today but in a tender, gentle way. the flow was pretty good actually. |
by LOVEmeNOT
I think its really good. |
Alright, I think the flow was actually rather good. I have a few suggestions: |
by Britni
This poem is very good. I like the how you did the ending. an apple a day will keep the doctor away. It was very creative. The poem also sounded very believable. It reminded me of a movie I once saw a long time ago. I can't remember the name of it but it had gymnast and her couch told her that she wasn't skinny enough to be in the olympics and he would train her unless she got skinnier. so she did inorder to reach her goal but in the end she distoyed herself. |
by JustKristina
...wow...give me a few minutes to collect my thoughts.. |
by noha
Waw nice work and my favorite part is:Eating only for those around you, your secret they'll never know. |
by firexdancer
Wow, this was really good, it dealed with anorexia but in a much gentler way, I really liked it. The flow was actually really smooth, the rhyming seemed really natural and the poem really moved me. I'm going to add it to my favorites. 5/5 |
by Nelle
This is really good. I loved your word usage, and the flow was great. A lot of people I'm sure can relate to this, I know in a way I can. I didn't really understand where the title fit in until it got closer to the end, but overall it was amazing. Good job babe. |
by Prophecies In Kodak
Your hard work payed off. |
by Blissful
Oh my I loved this! You took a topic many attempt to write about but miss it's meaning and you took in to another world where I could feel everything this young girl felt. The language you used was flawless and fit everything flawlessly. I thought the flow was great except for in the third stanza where you repeated "show" twice. That made me stumble while I was reading but I quickly picked up momentum from there because everything after that was just flawless. |
Not too bad, Cayce. You're right, the flow wasn't great, but when it comes from the heart, it almost doesn't matter. |
by Gizmo
You can never be too skinny, or at least that's what you've been told. |
by Bugg
I thought the flow was excellent. I really enjoyed reading this. My boyfriend actually suffered from bulimia for a while (I wrote a poem about it - It's Tearing Us Apart -lol-). He's much better now. This piece was well written and alot more people should read it. It's going on my faves list. |
“Your body is to be starved and abused, made into the perfect mold.†|