This is a very descriptive account of a very important turning point in the world of sensuality. Very well written.

It was descriptive,sensual and all around amazing. Great work:) keep it up.

Okay, I wrote this long comment about it, and then the page F-ed up, and logged me out.

So this is what I think. I think you need to move this to the "explicit/erotic" section.
Although it is a love poem, it still has a sense of erotica in it.

There are also a few grammar mess ups, so go through it and listen to what doesn't sound correct.

Also, I think changing the format of it would make it look much better.

Maybe even take out the "..."'s, they are not as dramatic as you would think.

Anyways, I did like the poem/diary entry either way.

5/5

OoOoO nice for a journal I must say
I think to make this poem even more
Romantic
try describing it like what it felt like (in more detail)
what the atmosphere was like
I think you'd have a winner
5/5

Dang so this how girls feel when you kiss them...j/k i love the emotion it was great you had me on every bloody word great work-
raindrops 5/5

Omg that was intense

This was a very cute piece, and I like the idea behind it. I especially like the way it was written.
I find free verse is more emotionally explanitory, however this piece was a little choppy.
I think if you edit a bit, and just make it flow more easily, it will indeed turn out as a splendidly sensual piece.

Keep it up,
--Elly.

I love how you described everything so beautifully .. it really added a nice touch to the poem. Well done. *5/5*