When you look at me
I bet you see a happy girl.
I'll tell you something
I'm far from being happy anymore.
I cry myself to sleep almost every night.
I just want to wake up from this nightmare.
I just want to be the happy girl I once was.
I'm starting to shut everyone out of my life.
There's only one person I won't shut out completely,
He gets my, he understands
The pain I go through everyday.
People try to make their life seem so much more worse than mine.
Therefore they lie.
I don't need liars as friends.
I need friends who care.
Who will tell me everything will be ok,
Even if we both know things won't be.
I need friends who are not afraid to hug me when I cry.
When people tell me to forget about someone,
Or to forget about the pain.
It goes to show they don't understand.
Its not easy to forget.
Especially when you have scars to remind you everyday.
I have so many feelings.
I feel like I'm a mistake in this world
Like I don't belong.
My soul is slowly fading away from its existence.
My heart have been ripped in two
And my mind floods with evil.
Even if my mind, soul and heart are gone
My body still remains in this twisted nightmare.
I feel like I have no purpose in life anymore.
I just want this heavy burden lifted off my shoulders.
I doubt anyone would care if I ended my life.
Maybe I should try and see.
It's the popular people and jocks who have done this to me the most.
I want to cut so bad.
I just don't want to add more bad memories to my life.
Some people think I'm a freak.
So what, I like the color black.
I like being in the dark.
But lately I can't stand the dark.
Why you wonder?
I've been hearing people whispering to me.
I couldn't make out what they were saying
But I know it was real.
Maybe it was a warning.
I don't know.
I'm scared to know.
It could be my Nan,
Sister,
David,
Or my other Nan.
I won't know.
It would be nice to know.
I hope the don't think I forgot about them
I hope no one forgets about me when I die either.
That might be soon.
Might not me.
Only the future knows what's in store for me.
