Whisper

by Wings Of Flames   Mar 11, 2008


The sky bleeds crimson,
Each cloud breaking clean,
My world drowns in sorrow,
To obtain the bleak obscene,

Shadows cast in windows,
Tears of morning break,
Upon the greenest blade,
Upon the greatest fake,

The darkest day defeats me,
As I lay upon your heart,
It's everything it ever was,
When we fall apart,

The ocean's heave among us,
They're all we've got,
Take me to the heaven's.
To pretend I forgot,

Close the door behind us,
And hope to start again,
It’s bleeding crimson lights,
Forever winter rain.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Now this piece I really liked, but I only voted it a 4/5 because I only give out 5s to the utmost pieces, and so very rarely give them out.

    Anyway, the flow was great, as were the rhymes. This piece felt very much alive, and it felt like it came from you, effortlessly, which is what I think I liked about this piece so much. I think its usually a great element in a poem, when it seems like the words have just flowed from the writer, though a lot of thought has probably been involved.

    Brad