To love and to have lost

I did it again
i have destroyed the only thing sacred in my life
i have let my insecurities get the better of me
i have allowed my sense of worthlessness destroy the only true love i ever had

i wallowed in self pitty so much that i neglected my love
i negated the warmth and the understanding she always had for me
i broke the promise that i made to my little daughter
the sorry part is that it was all my fault
i never had faith on her
i never trusted her

most often that not, people always try to prove themselves worthy
most often that not, people always try to rise above their shame
but not me

i saw myself as a victim
how does one qualify himself as a victim if he is a hypocrite
hoe does one never forgive the ones he claim to love,
but yet pray to GOD to forgive him for his trespasses
how can one be so blind

i killed our love
i have loved and
i have lost

forgive me my love
i will always remember you for the love you brought into my life.
i will always remember you for the occasional laughter that we shared
i will remember you for the Little girl that you entrusted me with
i will remember you for those pretty toes (that i helped polish whenever i was in a good mood)
i will remember you for the warmth you brought into our house
i will remember you for the beautiful years that you gave me
i will remember you for me

I LOVE YOU