I miss you

I miss you. my life is falling apart in front of me. I'm so afraid to be without you. every day i live in regret. i live in the past. i live for you. i thought about killing myself. but thats just a waste of time. if i do then ill be able to see you anytime i want. but if i do then ill never be able to hold you again. i love you. so very much. Ive seen so many moons that have passed, and looked down upon me. they cry for my sadness and laugh at my joy. when i close my eyes, i see you. when i fall asleep and my dreams begin, my mind sees you with me again. ill do anything just to get you back. let my soul see you, let my heart keep you. my soul is aching for you, my soul wants to reach out and grab you and take you back so i can hold you again. why do i need you so much? because I'm in love with you. there is nothing i can do that time allows to show how much i really love and care for you. i love the way you hug me like you need me. you told me at school that you are in love with me. my feelings are the same. when you told me that my whole world was bright. i went back to class put my head in my hands and cried. i cried so long and hard that my tears are no more. do i expect you to take advantage of your feelings? no, i know you love me. you told me so, but don't ignore your feelings please. it hurts so bad when you do. i see the way you look at me when i look at you. you seem so happy. when i write my poems to you, you tell me you cry because of their beauty. i write those poems about you. those poems are filled with thoughts of you thats why they are beautiful. i love you Ruthie. please come back to me.