Wonderful job! i really liked it......5/5

I like the feel of this piece, it is sad yet speaks a sense of hope in the ending lines.

- My personal opinion:
I would break it down something like this. I find some poems hard to read when they are all jumbled together. In some they work in others ... I just lose interest before I get to the next line. Omitting some of the needless words helps also. (A,and, but, I ... ect ....)

Hope this helped : )
Luanne

A thought of betrayal
vision of disgrace
an ideal of love
more than misplaced
hatred of failure
lust for a new pace

Feeling of loss
start to ensue
even after all of this
just want to believe
that I can find my place
with you.