by Punk Princess Mar 14, 2008
category :
Love, romance /
desired love
No matter how high the mountain lies |
by Sapphire
I loved this poem it really showed how much you really love for this person. 5/5 |
I really like what you are saying here, and this is a cool poem. Just a suggestion: Instead of starting every line with "No matter how.......", you could just start the first line with that then go to the second line and say "Or how fast the grass dies". You could use "or" on the third line and use "and" on the fourth line or something. This way, it might draw readers' attention more, and it won't be repeating so much. Just some ideas, otherwise I loved the words you use. |