First

Our lips could touch
but only lightly
our bodies could too
but only so slightly

a simple smile
could be our disguise
a lifetime of guilt
will cover all our lies

long held hugs
simply to show affection
or tears over shoulders
that fear losing protection

alcohol pumping through us
showing a different side
shows the insecurities
that soberness can hide

lies that hide feelings
and truths that won't let go
people wondering what happened
to ever letting them show

rain is dropping on the roof
above us as we scream
but we're screaming in silence
because nothing is really what it seems

we're silently crying
with smiles on our faces
we're lying in the darkness
in so many different cases

we know the way we feel
and while i lay here hugging you
you love the way i touch you
and sometimes i do too

i feel you when you're scared
and you know I'm right here
we hide out in the darkness
out of insecurity and fear

and sometimes you forget
but i know that it's OK
you know who i really am
so i hate asking you to stay

and in other ways i hate you
always wishing you away
but please don't leave me
I'll never be happy this way

heights we reach together
just because being us doesn't feel right
escaping from silence
and happiness in sight

rain drops on the windows
but that's not what really hurts
I'm being ripped from myself by you
this time it was the first