Oh, Woe is Me

How can I be happy with who I am
If I can't say "Ah, shame. Poor me"
Every now and then?
How am I supposed to find out
The 'good' in me
If I can't pity the bad?
I'm not a vein person,
And like most, I too want to be accepted
For who I am.
I would like to know what there is
To like about me,
But all I know is the 'appalling'
That has been pointed out to me.
I've been led to believe
That that is all there is to me -
The bad.
I have no looks,
No personality,
I can't cook,
I suck at my job,
So what the hell is there for me?
Wouldn't you want to say,
"Ah, poor me" if you were in my shoes?

You may think that there has to be a way out
Of this deep, dark, dismal abyss,
And at one stage I thought so too.
I wanted so bad to change,
To learn about who I am,
And who people see me as,
But the pain of realising that
There is nothing pretty about me,
That I still have no personality,
And that I, in fact, have no talent or skill
Was enough to send me spiralling downward,
Back into my endless pit of self-battering,
My hole of self-pity;
My trench of self-hatred;
My crater of self-defamation.
It's what I've been taught to do -
That is all I know.
I'd rather admit to myself that
All these bad things are true,
Than allow myself to get caught up
In the disappointment and feelings of failure
Of a blatant, outright lie.

Copyright©JosieWentzel14March2008