by Veamm Mar 15, 2008
category :
Love, romance /
lost love
I can't |
by Lemma
This is really sweet and sad. I liked the last line but think it would have made more of an impact if you hadn't already mentioned the words "love you" in the same stanza. Perhaps there's a way you could replace the first mention with something else? Other than that, a really sweet write. |
by Lizaveta
Repetition makes this poem really melodic |
The line "I can't wake in this nightmare" would make more sense if you changed it to "I can't wake from this nightmare." I think you need to work on your tenses too.. but other than that I was a great poem. |
by Syn
I think you need to work on youre suffixes |
It's a really good poem! |