by Brittany C
3rd stanza 3rd line |
In the first stanza, "explore" and "occur" should be past tense to flow with the rest of the piece. And in the last stanza, third line. "I can't hold anymore" Did you mean "I can't hold you anymore" ? |
by Alexandraa
Love it |
It's a really good poem! |
by Syn
I think you need to work on youre suffixes |
The line "I can't wake in this nightmare" would make more sense if you changed it to "I can't wake from this nightmare." I think you need to work on your tenses too.. but other than that I was a great poem. |
by Lizaveta
Repetition makes this poem really melodic |
by Lemma
This is really sweet and sad. I liked the last line but think it would have made more of an impact if you hadn't already mentioned the words "love you" in the same stanza. Perhaps there's a way you could replace the first mention with something else? Other than that, a really sweet write. |