My Heart

Ienjoy your poem but again so much more can be said in a different way. also give attention to the theme. it merits 4.5/5, kel.

This poem is also very good, yet I seem to notice that you have a tendence for repetition...
it isn't a bad thing, though...
I just wander how it would sound without a repetition pattern... for example, changing, in some verses, "heart" to "soul", "love" or even "life"... (just a small suggestion...)

I find this poem really sweet... It flows quite well, for a free-verse poem... (i always find it harder to make it flow when writing free-verse pieces - that's why i don't write many... ;) ) and it has a very deep message, as well...
I absolutely adored this stanza, for example:
"Please don't leave
you'll tear me apart.
I hope that we�ll last
until the end of time."

I would only suggest that you would take out the we�ll and replace with "we'll"... it might be a problem in your computer but if you manage to, take it out, because it distracts a little bit from the theme itself...

I don't understand the line "When we finely together"... do you mean "When we are finally together"? Or something else...

Besides that, it is a wonderful poem...
5/5
*isabel*

I want to hold you
close to my heart.
I love you baby
you own my heart.
^^ its a strong emotion to feel that someone owns your heart it really does show how much this person has a hold on you!

Please don't leave
you'll tear me apart.
I hope that we�ll last
until the end of time.
^^ fix "we�ll" and it will help cause it is sort of a distraction!

I want you so much
my heart cries out for you.
When we finely together
I'll never let you go.
^^ it should be "When we are" but i loved the personification you added

You are my heart baby
my one true love
forever giving me the strength
to get through hard days.
^^ you always are grateful for someone who can turn a crappy day around and make you smile

Once again very good job with expressing how you feel! :) 5/5

Okay. This one was.. Okay. Thats all i can really say. I didn't really like it.. Well, lets go though shall we?
I want to hold you
close to my heart.
I love you baby
you own my heart.
^^ You NEED to put commas after theses lines, ESPECIALLY the 3rd line, because eitherwise, the reader thinks you are going to have a sentence, when you are really having two different thoughts (but in the line before, you didnt do that, so that right there throws us off)
The repitition was .. not good. You could try intsead of "you own my heart" put in "you own me." (i think it still gets the point across)

Please don't leave
you'll tear me apart.
I hope that we�ll last
until the end of time.
^^ Typo third line.

I want you so much
my heart cries out for you.
When we finely together
I'll never let you go.
^^ 1st line, you should have a ";" at the end.
3rd line, "finely" should be "finally" And you might want to change the line too "When we ARE finally together"

You are my heart baby
my one true love
forever giving me the strength
to get through hard days.
Again, i understand the reason for the repetition, but it doesnt flow. Try "You are my soul baby" i think it still gets the point across.
(All of these are simply suggestions though)
*Chaotic Angel*

This subject is written about so much, that you REALLY have to write a GREAT poem for people to really enjoy it. I am not sure that this is has that WOW factor. From the beginning, rhyming HEART in the second line to HEART in the fourth line really does not work for me. It kind of shows a lack of effort. Moving on to the second stanza, the rhyme scheme that I thought was going completely dissolved. The third line has a typo (actually, it the whole copy / paste issue that happens sometimes).

The third stanza starts to pick up a little bit, but that feeling is lost by the third line. FINELY should be finally.

The last stanza is better. It starts to show some more emotion, but then the poem just ends. I was left wanting more; more emotion and more lines.

I think with a little work, you could still save this one.