I remember the depth of time we spent
What we felt and how we meant...
I remember the feeling and how it made me tremble
How it caressed and let me slip off into peace.
I remember the best times that made you smile
We held no spite and there was no guile...
In tranquility like a river in moonlit rays
We knelt by the stream with our eternal gaze.
So simple was our want... I just couldn't let it go
Couldn't refrain and I couldn't refuse
The grip that the old power had on me (though now I wonder why...)
If I had left with you that night...
We could have been "free".
Now I fight these internal rages
I read your words and they make me want to reach out.
I wonder if you still read my own words...
These simple blogs can never say what we truly desire.
I want to be able to hold you close
I don't want you to regret our memories
I want to just hold you and tell you how beautiful you truly are
Even though my hand can't stroke your smooth face...
How agonizing! See how the tears flow!
Why does this have to be?
All I want is to draw you near...
With no holding back and with no fears...
All I desire is to make sure you are safe....
I want you to trust me... to take my hand in faith
It would pain me to run away from your sight
It did... and I regret it every time I think about it.
... All I have is this Word I am reading...
I've given my life to Christ, the Anointed One...
But there are so many times where I pause and reflect
On what we had... it makes me not want to neglect...
I pray about it night and day
I cry to God and I die every day.
How agonizing! See how my tears flow!
Why does this have to be?
Am I just a stranger to be?
God help me... I am so confused...
In all cases, please remember this...
You are so beautiful -- anyone who says differently is blind in their own sight, and cannot see the blessing that God has created you to be: the gifts, the talents He has in store for you... They cannot see who you are and what you are facing, the choices you've made or the embraces you are making. They cannot even believe in themselves, for everyone who is able to, sees something glowing inside, and inside every person is faith in themselves. So remember, if they cannot see that flame inside of you, then pity them... Help them to see themselves. I care for you so deeply I can just barely restrain myself. Selah... (pause and calmly think of that)... Remember this: In my sorrow, you and Christ are the only ones who make me feel light as a feather in the mist of the early morning. The only ones who are able to see through the cracked mask I held up for all to see. See how beautiful you are, to me.
