Pretending

The memory of you, I try to erase,
But everything reminds me of that day and that place.
No matter what I do,
You are present in my mind and I always think of you.
My friends tell everyone I'm over you because that's what I say,
But, honestly, I simply can't go on living this way.
Sometimes I talk to myself, thinking you are there.
Sometimes I think you're messing with my ponytail like you used to,
But it's only the wind brushing my hair.
I find myself dreaming about times when we weren't so blue.
I long to hear your voice softly whisper "I love you."
Every time I see you, or when someone says your name,
My heart breaks in two once more.
I just wish that things could be the same.
You know, like they were before.
When you are sweet to me, I sometimes forget
That you really don't love me anymore.
I give it my all. I really do try.
But I just don't think I can keep living this lie.
I have to stop pretending that I have moved on.
I honestly still love you, and it kills me that you're gone.