Me in the Meltdown

Very good.keep it up!5/5
**harlea

Bradley .... wow I must say! You have created such incredible visuals in this piece.

My knees are weak
From this pressure they built
My shoulders are shaking
From this tower of guilt
^^^
Really liked this part ... especially the last line!

After reading this piece "The Breakdown" totally came to mind.

Your rhyme scheme very unique and quite mesmerizing. A very difficult rhyme pattern to follow I'm sure ... but it flowed wonderfully!

My tears are falling
As I lie on the floor
So beaten, so damaged
From this inward war
^^^
The ending ties in with the title perfectly ...
Great read Bradley!

Luanne

Dang. First I'm gonna say thanks for the comment and there isn't alot of guys on here that's for sure. But that piece you read was me releasing my feelings. It was crap to me lol. But getting to your poem. That was awesome. I mean it's like it has a great flow going on. You make it seems as if your reader is really there. Awesome job.
5/5
-vino

I really enjoyed the last few lines of this the most! The second half of the first stanza seemed slightly off in the flow, but other than that, i think you described your feelings well in this piece. I like how it wasn't boring, and it didn't drag on.
Charisma*