Whisper

by Poet on the Piano   Mar 17, 2008


Whisper those words I long to hear,
Let me know you'll always be near.
Keep me within your thoughts and prayers,
Let me know how much you care.

Whisper all that you want to say,
However you want to, in any way.
Say that I am the key to your door,
And that you couldn't ask for more.

Whisper our song in the darkness of night,
For you will be my true shining light.
You'll always be in my heart and mind,
Our love forever will be refined.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by xoOrdinaryGirlox

    #2

    'BrokenREALiTy ( F P C D ) at 2008-03-26

    Keep me in your thoughts and prayers,
    `I feel like there should be another word in that line to make the beginning flow better.'

    Maybe try this 'Keep me within your thoughts and prayers,' Thats adding another syllable without adding the extra word.

    Also I thought the last line of the poem felt a bit forced to rhyme to me. Maybe try something a little different to rhyme. :)

    Other than that. This poem was simple but so full of emotions and thought. I can see it came straight from the heart. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Still Slightly Broken

    Very beautiful.

    I loved it.

    5/5

    Great work :)

    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by abullettotheheart

    This is quite amazing
    i love it :)

  • 16 years ago

    by BluEyedMemory

    I loved this poem. I know the feeling of wishing for someone to say those words... I just felt the poem. Every emotion...
    Great Write
    Emma 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by LukesAngel

    This is really sweet :)

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