I wanna end this pain
This suffering
Want to stop thought...
Stop this aggravating process
The very process that is
Killing the small
Bit of life that is actually left of me.
Not that there is much left...
Don't understand why I feel so
Hopeless... worthless
When I have what I've
Always truly want...
To be loved for me...
To be truly adored
And not be deceived again.
I just want someone to accept
Me for who I am... to love
Me...
Not the fake me either.
The true me
That is so messed up...
That is so distressed about
Everything and anything
To see past all
My problems and still
Truly like me.
Now that I have what I've
Always wanted I can't
Understand why I am
So very miserable and
Dead on the inside
I love her so... so much
And I know she loves me too...
But I can't help wanting to
Just drop dead
I'm so sick... makes me feel
Like I should never be loved
Makes me want to make her
Stop loving me... because
I can only drag her...
Down with me.
Yet she refuses to
Deny the truth
That she loves me...
She won't take it back and
Pretend like she doesn't,
Because she does
So I must
Try not to..
Break
Once again
I don't know what she
Would do it I died.
I don't want to know.
I'm so unstable... I
Might- more as...
I'm scared I might
Lose control
Might drown...
In my crimson tears
I know what's wrong and yet.
I'm so scared of admitting
I need help... so scared
Of what others may think of
My illness.. my imperfection.
I wish I could just stop.
Stop in this life... could make
It so much easier than
It is right now...
So I could still have my love...
But not want to die
Every single second...
Because I'm
So far down I'm not sure
If I'm able to be
Saved...
