Wow...that is really deep. i think every1 has times that they feel like that...lost and sorry. |
I think you could make this poem a whole lot better by adding some emotion in it. Tell how you feel, describe everything. Don't just say what happened. Reader's can't really understand the emotions you went through if you don't describe them. I think you also need to be more detailed about how your great-grandma looked. Maybe, how he hospital room looked. How it smelled, felt. Use your five senses. It has the potential to be a real tear jerker. I hope this comment helps. :] |
Awww, I think it's much better now. I could feel how you regretted so much leaving that day, but really I don't think you should blame yourself. You're great grandmother knew you loved her. |
by Amber
Awwww oh my god thats soooooooooo sad!!! |
Im sure she is watchin ova u rite this second she knows trust me |
Wow you can feel the sadness in that |
by Bryce
This was kind of hard to read becuase the rhyming was off, but it was a really good poem, the feel of it was amazing. |
I'm sure she knows & still loves u as much as u love her, u know family is like that. anyway 5/5 |
by Mackenzie
Good poem. i can relate to it easily. they told me and my family that my papah was doing better. i never thought to tell him goodbye, i loved him or anything. i was at the funeral home a few days later. w/ him dead in the coffin. |
by MyMuse
That was just amazing, i mean come on that made me cry. I know how it feels...like you should always make time for your grandparents or just anyone, treasure every moment with them because it might be your rest, just wonderful but sad. |
by SAINTS MATE
This is a good poem... keep up the good work ey |
Great job! keep up the good work! =) |
by sandy
Thats really sad it really got to me... very well written.. keep it up |
by Stephen
This is really good, it just goes to prove that sometimes people really dont know how much they care until what they care about is gone, you kno |
by Amber
Awe thats so sad seriously i think im gonna cry =[ |
by Unamed
Aww!!!!!...this is so sad!!..i'm so sorry if this is true!!!..i totaly love it tho!...great job! |
by Nicole
I love this one. great job |
by ThE CrOw
Hey i know how you feel i lost my grandma last year....so i can relate to this one good job =) |
Aw this poem is so sad but really good and if this really did happen to you than I feel sorry for you(note really i do) |
Hey...i havent yet felt that way...but I understand ur pain...I love this Poems...u can feel the emotion...that raging..I love it..Keep it up |