When I have time to think

When I have time to think ,
my thoughts only make me sad.
I wonder what life would be like ,
if it was love I had.
I was in love years ago ,
with my eldest sons father.
But he never loved me ,
so he left me for another.
Hurt by love with a child to raise ,
to love again I just could not go through.
In stead I met my and settled with my partner ,
safe and secure I feel it's true.
But then last year I met someone ,
started has friends but then my feeling grew.
I could not lie to my partner ,
how it feels to be lied to and hurt I very well knew.
So my feelings for another I must forget ,
as for being friends well that had to end too.
Only thing is when I have time to think ,
my thoughts are of him and miss him I still do.
I don't even know if he even thinks about me ,
for I have not seen him for a while.
He may not even have meant a word he said ,
but the times we shared are now memories that make me smile.