Guiding Me

Smiles spread
across the faces
of my friends.
Why not me?
I always fall
left dazed and depressed
and always alone
No one is ever left
for me to confide in
I'm used to it.
But I'm surprised
when the storm starts
and you're still here
telling me you care
Saying you understand
and are going to help
I'm confused
Why are you still around?
You should have left
Everyone else did
Why didn't you?
I even pushed you
but you remained
by my side
guiding me
through this storm
I'm not used to it
You can truly see me
and know my deepest fears
and darkest insecurities
So why don't you leave?
You know I'm insane
but still call me best friend
Now you're asking me
to explain to you
everything
But I can't
You mean much more
than any other "best friend"
and it will hurt more
when you finally walk away
I've broken a rule
I've grown too close
and allowed you
to truly understand me
now it will kill
to just let you walk away
and to return to being a loner
Please turn away now
before I need you more
before I can't push you away
before I head to the center
of this emotional storm
Where you can't guild me out