Disgusted in herself

She stares at herself
with such disgust
avoiding mirrors
for fear of tears and pain.

She hates her body
she analyzes every inch
the bulges the stretch marks
the fat and the ugliness

it eats at her, she asks
how did i get this way
why cant i just stop
the answers are unclear

she has a hole a hole
inside a void she tries
to fill with all the wrong things
the truth is to hard to face

food is like a drug
an addiction she can never break
she'll never be who she wants
this is all to much for her to take.

Her mother picks at her every move
should you eat that she says
she doesn't understand
she just wont listen

she hides the pain
the loneliness and the tears
she hides it all even her fears
the motivation she lacks

All the diets, the endless
workouts, daily trips to
the scale in hopes it will
budge today

The biggest in her class
confidence she lacks
disgusted they are
the desk she cannot fit

thats all she will ever be
the classroom joke
no one will ever see
who she is inside
and the pain she tries to hide.