I Can't Breathe. No, I Really Can't.

by Stephanie   Mar 20, 2008


I can't breathe, no I really can't.
My heart is pressed tightly against my ribcage, there's no connection between my head and my heart. Your eyes seek mine and I can tell what you see: vulnerability. Because with you -- that's all I can ever be. And you'll strip me with a vengeance as your eyes criss-cross my face. But it's okay, I swear. Because my eyes secretly tempt themselves as well.

Your silence strikes my heart through this tension filled air, but I prefer the silence over the words, because your words are like bullets. And they shoot me with the most painful venom I've come to bear. So let this non-imaginable tension roll on, as we try to find security in this beautiful silence. Because words hurt, they hurt way too much. [Shhh...]

They ask me if I remember the good old days and I'll admit that that's the problem: I remember them too well. They haunt and oh, they scream at me -- But I've learned they're just words, like those lyrical lies that ran passed both our lips before. So I'll take the headphones and escape - escape to where all of which I can connect with is the past... and a split second of you.

It's been a year, but I still can't breathe. Oh no, I really can't. And I keep seeking to regain the strength I lost because of the loss of a love, but I'm walking unknown territory without a map. [Which use to be you] Do you see me? Do you [really] see me? Or are your eyes covered up with lies and a sense of vulnerability as well?
Do you feel? Do you feel [me]?
Because I can't breathe. No I really can't.

March 20, 2008
(c) Stephanie Lynn.

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  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet Disposition

    I love the whole thing. Even the title is amazing. You really have an incredible talent! How I wish I could write like you! It's like just by reading one of your poems I can tell you are naturall gifted with writing. Please don't ever stop writing because you really are talented and I wish you the best of luck with writing in your future :) Thank you for writing! Your poems are very therapeutic for me!

  • 16 years ago

    by ABake

    Okay , so I love the title . And I am in love with this new form we are using . Lol . The story type of poem with all the sarcasm . I just love it . [ smiles ] Anywho . . .

    I love that you start out with the title . Its great . And the whole first stanza , was amazing . Thw whole heart against the ribcage thing sounds painful but all in all makes sense . One mistake , you say I can tell you what you see . The you before the what seems out of place . It does not exactly flow with the rest of the stanza . Hehe , so much sarcasm .

    Oh boy , I can so relate to this stanza . I love the whole idea of the silence . Ecspecially in these painful situations . And I love the [ shh ... ] at the end . It makes the scenario more real and imaginable . Great job .

    Aww man . That first two lines of this stanza are so painful . They made me want to cry . Oh gosh . I am not sure if it is the sadness or the way I can relate to them . Steph , you are really going to make me cry . In this stanza , there is two emotions . One of them , now this is just for me , pardon me if I am wrong , I feel a sort of regret . But there is still the longing to be with this person . . .

    Oh boy I love this storyline . Lol . It keeps getting better . And you express that pain s well .One mistake , you forgot the word in or into or through , whatever you choose after the word walking . And how he used to be your map . I so feel that way . The ending , with all of the questions and what not was okay but after a while got annoying . [ I know that was harsh ]

    But other than that , great poem sweetie . I loved it . 5 . 5

    Amber .

  • 16 years ago

    by TheRevelation

    "Your silence strikes my heart through this tension filled air, but I prefer the silence over the words, because your words are like bullets. And they shoot me with the most painful venom I've come to bear. So let this non-imaginable tension roll on, as we try to find security in this beautiful silence. Because words hurt, they hurt way too much. [Shhh...]"
    That whole part took my breathe away and hit me dead center in my heart. Because it is true words, they hurt so much more, so much more than anything else could ever hurt you. This poem is a work of art. You are a magnificent writer.

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