Welcome To My Life

I really like this one. it is so easy to relate to and it has a nice flow to it. i like how you follow the format so the lines are roughly the same length. keeep up the great work!! ~KM~

Great job

Bulimia, I try to avoid poetry like this. For one, they all seem to be the same, nothing new, nothing creative. Sadly, this is just one of many.

Yes, I know you are writing poetry to express yourself, and point out your views, but you could be a little more creative.

The imagery was realistic. You should try to find some metaphorical meaning, and use it in your poem. Example;

"Her knees are bruised from kneeling
on the cold, hard bathroom floor,
her fingers 'form the shape of a gun'
'ready to spill her guts once more'."

^^ It gives you the same sort of imagery, but written in a metaphorical way.

Hopefully that helps you in some way. I'm not saying your poem is bad, I'm saying it could be better.

Keep writing.

A VERY powerful poem. I think the beginning and middle held the most power of the piece. The rhyming was excellent. The flow was only off in a few places. Just watch your syllable count more and that will really make your poetry stand out. You already have the raw talent, and with a little tweaking, could be very amazing!
inthesehearts

Absolutely amazing subject to write on, its a touchy subject to approach when your commenting. i just hope you didn't have to go through that or your going throught that. you described it very very well, the imagery although good was disturbig because you can just see and feel it in your head.

at the end i like how you give a slight indecation of hope, just a little bit. that she doesn't want to be here so she may actually stop what she is doing