Mind Ramblings II

I get to ramble now, which is all too common in my mind. I have an inexplicable need to better myself constantly. For those of you who have read my book, you may know that I'm physically in great shape. You will find, perhaps, that I have an odd fascination with morbidity. Any emotion truly interests me. My wonderful, full of love, innocent dog, Bruno, was recently put to sleep. In fact, it's 1:13 AM now, and yesterday is the day that it was done. I decided to pay for the "antidote" and I also decided that I would be the one to dig the hole. In solitude. I would also place Bruno in the hole and fill it back up. I was angry. Not because I was forced to do anything, or that somebody told me I had to kill something I loved, but rather because I refused to cry or be sad or depressed. I forced myself not to give in. This had stunned a few people. I have a fascination with death, but it still pains me. I just refuse to let it tear me to pieces like I do to myself every other waking moment. I don't need another catalyst, the ones I have now work fine..