So sweet lovely poem, alot of feeling flow,keep write 5/5

Okay, first off, I just ADORE the title. It's catchy, and absolutely luminous. Now, my first thoughts when I read the first couples of lines was, Oh god, this is gonna be a slight cliche. But then, I finish it, and I just fall in love with it.

Again, your vocabulary is simple, but the way you put the words together and the order in which you put them make them so established.

We don't mind the breeze
It keeps us close together
`I love the image that comes to mind. My friends hate the wind -- when it's strong enough, it always knocks us into into each other and blows things into our faces, but this, the use of a breeze keeping two people close togheter, I feel is just beautiful.

And gently lick the bottom of our feet
`The use of lick -- This may make me soudn odd, but that made me laugh. I don't know why.

I can feel your heavy heart
When you sleep on top of me
But they've always said I was a strong man
I can lift it with my love
`At first, I thought, Why would he make the heart heavy? Then I got to the last line in that stanza, and it was like I was swept off my feet. It's so sweetly simple--an overused idea of lifting something with love, but you make it work just amazing.

It will never sink again
`I love the repitition of that line. It's powerful, and a gorgeous way to end.

Very nice piece.
--..MiNDYY

I adored ur poem to.
verry nice~ and wow.. kewl~

"And I will hold it up forever
It will never sink again
As long as you love me my darling
It will never sink again"

^^ That was a beautiful way to end it. It was definitely my favourite stanza throughout the poem. Love poems aren't always my favourite, just because it's very easy to fall into the trap of sounding incredibly cliche when writing one. But this poem just made me feel happy. And I like that.

Well done.

Its so sweet <3

I am sensing spiritual overtones in the romantic imagery of the ancient four original elements provoking pure sensual stimulation
loving the oblect of you desire with mind, heart, soul, and strength

5/5. For once, a (somewhat sappy) love poem that has something new in it. Each part of the poem had its own little message, with the first two stanzas conjuring imagery and the second half using some fairly clever figurative language. Nice write.

First off the title so caught my eye i was like wow this ought to be interesting!

I'm wide awake now
And the sun has just set
We don't mind the breeze
It keeps us close together
^^aww cute cute cute!!!! i love that picture i can't name one girl that doesn't like cuddling

We walk to the beach
The most comfortable place right now
The waves come slowly in
And gently lick the bottom of our feet
^^ aha great last line there i loved the way it sounded and it is so true i go down to the beach every summer and come to think about it that is just what the waves do ((plus it is supper romantic to walk to the beach at night))

I can feel your heavy heart
When you sleep on top of me
But they've always said I was a strong man
I can lift it with my love
^^ok you lost me the last two lines it confused me a bit maybe re word it to make sure it is saying what you want

And I will hold it up forever
It will never sink again
As long as you love me my darling
It will never sink again
^^ ok well maybe that helps a little more with the last stanza but still go back to make it a little better? i loved the ending though : )

The flow was great! imagery was right on i liked this poem it was cute and genuine 5/5