I Keep Thinking If I Called

I keep thinkin if I called
just one more time
if you could hear my voice
once more on the line

then you would
call me your angel the way you Used to
and this
sickening hold would let Loose of you

but I remember what happened
last time I tried
I felt sick and for a couple
more days I cried

cuz I build my hopes up
just to get knocked down
I think I see a life boat
but then I sink and I drown

so I have to step away
and set down the phone
or I'll find out some more shit
I wish I wouldn't have known

you know it's
So ironic cuz you were the one
that
Got me writin when we'd first begun

but thank you for teaching me
this way to deal
you're the one that hurt me
but it's helpin me heal

through my head so many rhymes
just continue to fly
and I let so many of em
just pass me by

I can't hold onto em all
just like I can't control you
but I'm in charge of myself
so I can always stay true