The Spirit of Fall

A leaf falls from a tree,
Slowly, as time passes by,
Something no one will see,
It never catches their eye,

^^ This stanza rhymes and flows so very well. I love how you wrote about a leaf falling from a tree. You're right, no one would probably ever notice it.

But I watch this leaf slowly fall,
Yes, I take time to absorb the scene,
Because I think I'm a know-it-all,
And that I can figure out what it means,

^^ This one has a little bit of a flow problem, and the rhymes seemed a little forced.

I am alone, just like the leaf,
I have no friends, no one to hold,
This is the source of my relief,
Standing by myself, in the cold,

^^ Aww, this makes me sad, but I love how you compare yourself to a leaf. I've never read about comparing yourself to a leaf before. Now, that I think about it, I can relate a little to this leaf too.

My body goes numb, as the leaf hits the ground,
I do not resist, feeling it can only be right,
A snowflake falls on my nose, without a sound,
It will be winter, this time tomorrow night.

^^ Wow. This is definitely my favorite stanza. I loved every single line, and the ending was strong. Great imagrey through the whole poem.

Keep writing!
Cayce

"Because I think I'm a know-it-all,
And that I can figure out what it means,"

I find that "know-it-all" is too harsh a word for this poem, it jerks the reader out of the gentle atmosphere you've created in the first stanza. I understand that it's hard to find a rhyme for fall in a poem like this, but you might want to try enthrall, or recall.

I also love how you rhymed 'sorrow' with 'borrow', I could never have come up with that. It's a nice change from 'tomorrow'.

Great ending, you wrapped it all up very nicely. The last two verses release all the accumulated emotion beautifully; a very graceful ending.

I am alone, just like the leaf,
I have no friends, no one to hold,
This is the source of my relief,
Standing by myself, in the cold,

holy god dude that hit me like a sharp knife in the heart stunned i stood, the poem itself is great but ehh the flow is disturbed in some parts some cliche but very well, 5/5 good poem fix the flow at some parts but other than that bravo!

My favourite stanza was
A leaf falls from a tree,
Slowly, as time passes by,
Something no one will see,
It never catches their eye,

this hold great meaning to me as i know what it isa like to notice things so beautiful that ordinary people just think of as an everyday thing if we all sat down under a big tree in silence and watch the leaves fall in autumn/fall
(depnds on where you are from)
we could all learn something truely great about each other and even our selves even though most people just think of it as a leaf
i see it as much more i see it as something beautiful

The first thing I had noticed about this poem is that the stanzas gradually grow larger. This is a problem in my opinion. If you start off with a short stanza such as ;

A leaf falls from a tree,
Slowly, as time passes by,
Something no one will see,
It never catches their eye,

and then move on to a stanza the length of the final one ;

My body goes numb, as the leaf hits the ground,
I do not resist, feeling it can only be right,
A snowflake falls on my nose, without a sound,
It will be winter, this time tomorrow night.

It disrupts the flow of the poem. A basic rule of thumb is to start a line, then try to match the line above by the syllables, give or take one or two sylables because some of us havent the patience to edit the poem until it is worthy of Newsweek =p

There are a few pros and cons with short and long stanzas. With long stanzas you can be well detailed in the imagery and you can fully express your views completely, yet you can tend to ramble on to fit the rhythm and the readers might lose interest.

Whereas short stanzas are nice and quick and hardly take that much work to keep the rhythm strong, but yet again you can hardly express fully what you are trying to say.

Try to find a great balance. vvvv

I am alone, just like the leaf,
I have no friends, no one to hold,
This is the source of my relief,
Standing by myself, in the cold,

^^^ this is a great example, although the vision could have been portrayed a little longer, you said what you needed to say, and Im sure you will realize that the flow is much stronger considering that each line contains 8 sylables.

Hopefully this helps, nice to see some fresh poetry out of the sadness/depression genre. Makes the art a bit more of a broader genre.

Great poem =)
-Bryce