A Letter to Your Heart [wherever it is]

I sit down,
my back against the wall
thinking it over,
that stupid phone call

my glass is full,
just near the brim
i think of you,
but i smell of him

and my heart does a flutter,
a flutter of shame
even though were not together
i feel i am to blame

misunderstandings reside
and darkness prevails
would simply take a lifetime
to tell of details

but i sit in the darkness
and blankly stare
at the wall of nothing
without you there

my memory travels,
it says just this night
to hold you again,
to see if you're right

a shot and I'm there,
two and i see
everything i ever lost
when you left me

and the feelings rush back
but i am not ready
to be the person that
i never even could be

I've tried to be sunshine
but i darken each day
praying you would hold me,
pushing you away

but i guess this isn't anything real,
i guess it'll all be fine
maybe one day ill learn how to keep
something that was always mine

-well s h i t